Of Wedding Bells and Archers
By Gaeriel Mallory

NOTE: This was the first Bat-family fic that I ever wrote and I am actually a bit embarrassed by it. It was poorly plotted, poorly written, and I really didn't have that good a grasp on the characters. I had no business even attempting to write this fic. But you live and you learn, right?
DISCLAIMER: The characters are the property of DC Comics, AOL/Time Warner, and their respective creators. Not mine.


“Hello, gorgeous!”

Sergeant Amy Rohrback looked up a handsome man with shocking red hair grinning down at her.

“Roy! Down!” Her rookie, Richard Grayson, looked up from his desk and laughed. “Sarge, meet Roy Harper. Roy, Amy Rohrback.”

She gaped. “Roy Harper? The Titan?”

He grinned and swept a bow. “The one and only Arsenal, at your service.” The gallant moment was spoiled by a wadded up piece of paper bouncing off his forehead. He gave his friend a pained look. “Aw, come on, Robbie. Don’t spoil my fun.”

Dick grinned and crumpled another sheet of paper. “Sorry, Sarge,” he told Amy. “All right, Roy. Wanna tell me why you’re bothering me at work?” He held up the ball of paper threateningly.

“Well, seeing as how my favorite stick in the mud friend is getting married in two weeks, and seeing as how said friend’s best man is an even more stick in the mud than he is…”

“Get to the point.” Dick threw the ball of paper at Roy who ducked.

Roy sighed. “Fine. Well, Wally ‘I’m a married man’ West, was a bit daunted by having to throw a bachelor party, so I volunteered.” He grinned widely.

Dick stared. “Please tell me you’re joking. Please please please tell me you’re joking.”

Roy snickered. “So, Dickie, we already know you have a thing for redheads, but there needs to be more than just one stripper, so how do you feel about blonds? Brunettes?” He winked.

Dick groaned. “Do I have to remind you of that time you dragged me out for a ‘night on the town’? Woke up with a hangover and a tattoo, remember? Do you know how much getting a tattoo removed costs? Roy, when Barbara hears your planning my bachelor party, she’s going to kill me and then hunt you down.”

Roy looked over at Amy. “Is it my fault the man can’t hold his liquor?” He turned towards his friend again. “And for your information, buddy, Dinah is planning the bachelorette party.”

“Dinah?!?” Dick held his head in his hands. “Dinah, as in, leotard and fishnets Dinah? That Dinah?”

Roy smiled unsympathetically. “Yup. And you forgot about her teasing Batman for kicks. It’s going to be a wild party. Donna’s already looking forward to it.”

Dick groaned.

“Hey, who else were you going to get to plan your party? And if you say Alfred, I’m smacking you.”

Dick shut his mouth and just glared. He looked over at Amy. “Help me out here, partner.”

She laughed and shook her head. “Rookie, I’m not touching this with a ten foot pole.”

Roy glanced over at her. “Oh, that reminds me.” He produced a small envelope. “This is your invitation to the bachelorette party, courtesy of one Dinah Lance.”

Dick sat up in his seat. “Roy!”

Amy accepted the envelope and began chuckling. “Oh, the stories I will hear about you, Grayson. I’ll have enough blackmail material on you to last me a lifetime.”

Dick glared. “You are so dead, Harper.”

He smirked. “Do I have to tell Lian why ‘Unca Dick’ is threatening to kill her daddy?”

“Who says I’m going to give you time to warn your daughter?” Dick started chuckling. “Okay, Roy. You win. Go ahead and do your worst.”

Roy’s eyes shone. “You mean that? Because I have some great ideas that would throw the video of the party well into the NC-17 category.”

“Just so long as Bruce approves everything.”

Roy’s face fell. “Tall, dark, and gloomy? You’re kidding me, Rob. Next thing you know, the party will be in a cave somewhere.”

Dick grinned. “He’s paying for the party, so he gives final approval.”

Roy muttered something under his breath.

Dick’s grin grew wider. “What was that, Roy? I couldn’t hear you.”

There was a glint in the other man’s eye. “I said that I had already talked to Bruce, and he told me, in not so many words, to go crazy.” He snickered. “Oh, you should see your face! What I wouldn’t do for a camera right now.” Roy waved at Amy. “Nice meeting you. See you at the wedding!” He then grinned at his friend. “Oh, cheer up, Dick. I’m going to make sure you have fun if it kills you.”

After Roy had walked away, Amy shot an amused glance at her rookie. “So, Grayson ... where was the tattoo?”

Dick growled. ‘Roy Harper, you are a dead man.’

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Amy walked into the club and stared and the unfamiliar faces. ‘What am I doing here?’ she wondered. ‘I don’t even know who the bride is!’

“Dinah, I am not putting that on!” A redheaded woman in a wheelchair was trying to get away from a blond woman.

“Oh, come on, Babs. Get in the spirit of things! It’s cute! It’s witty!”

“Absolutely not!”

“But I got it custom-made, just for you.” The blond spotted Amy standing in the doorway. “Hey, come on in and join the party!”

Amy smiled and walked further inside. “Amy Rohrbach,” she said, holding out a hand.

The blond woman grinned. “Dinah Lance. You’re Dick’s partner, right?” When Amy nodded, Dinah grinned in a way that reminded her of Roy Harper. “So, want to help me convince Barbara to put this on?”

She held out a t-shirt with Richard Grayson’s picture on the front with the words “I’m Marrying a Dick” emblazoned above it. Amy burst out laughing.

Dinah turned towards the woman in the wheelchair. “See? She thinks its funny.”

“Explain to me again why you’re my maid of honor.”

“Because Wonder Woman had prior engagements?” Dinah answered innocently.

The redhead sighed and shook her head. “And to think that the fate of countries rest on her shoulders. Scary.” She held out a hand to Amy. “Barbara Gordon.”

“So you’re the woman who stole my rookie’s heart. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Amy smiled. “So just how is it that you know so many costumed heroes?”

Barbara grinned. “That’s telling. Besides, if you know one, you know them all.”

“I’m hurt,” Dinah said. After a few more unsuccessful tries, she gave up trying to get Barbara to wear the t-shirt. “I suppose I’ll have to start the Pin the Tail on the Nightwing, then.” She began walking off.

“But Nightwing doesn’t have a tail,” Amy observed.

Dinah looked over her shoulder and winked. “I know.”

Barbara called out, “Dinah!” and began chasing after her.

Amy chuckled and headed for the buffet.

---------------------------------

Jim Gordan sat down beside Bruce Wayne. “Why did I let you talk me into this? I’m too old for this sort of thing.”

Bruce glanced over. “If I had to be here, then so did you.”

Jim sipped his coffee and looked at his friend. “I would have thought you would have enjoyed this. Seems like your type of party.”

“I’m not feeling very social at the moment.”

Jim chuckled. “You could rival the Batman right now, you know that?”

Bruce looked at the police commissioner. “Jim ... There’s something I should tell you, seeing as how you’re daughter’s going to be marrying my son tomorrow.”

Jim took another sip. “Bruce, save it. Believe me, if I had any objections about this marriage, I would have voiced them long before this.”

“You know.” Bruce’s tone was accusatory.

The commissioner laughed quietly. “I’m a detective, Bruce. And besides, if I didn’t know before, I would think that having half the wedding guests moonlight in tights would be a give-a-way.”

A third person joined them just then. “Oh man.”

Bruce’s mouth twitched. “Too much for you, Clark?”

The reporter avoided looking at the trio of strippers in the middle of the room. “Remind to never let Roy plan a party for me. If Lois ever finds out what went on here, I’m a dead man.”

“You mean you didn’t enjoy that little dance Trixie gave you?” Bruce smirked. “I think she likes you.”

Clark loosened his collar and cleared his throat. Taking a sip of his beer, he said, “I just know Roy planned that. When I get my hands on him…”

“I’ll join you.” Dick reached over for a napkin to wipe the lipstick off his face. “Roy is so dead.”

Jim looked at his future son-in-law in amusement. “How’d you get away?” Throughout the night, Roy had managed to pull Dick back into the center of the festivities whenever he tried to sneak off.

Dick reached for Bruce’s drink and took a large gulp. “I waited until he took a bathroom break.”

Bruce took his drink back. “Get your own, brat.”

“Hey, where’d the party boy go?” Roy’s voice drifted over to where they sat. “Hey, Robbie! Where are you?”

Dick winced and looked around for a place to hide.

“Here,” Clark side as he lifted the edge of the tablecloth. Dick shot him a grateful glance before ducking under the table.

Roy spotted the trio sitting in the corner. “Hey, what are you three doing in the corner? Come join the fun!”

Clark stared at the drunk Arsenal. “Roy, if you try and get me to go out there, I will personally put you through a wall.”

Bruce looked at his friend in surprise. “Clark? You all right?”

“Look at him, Bruce. He’s dead drunk. I think only the threat of violence will get through that skull of his.”

“Don’t be too sure of that.” Bruce sipped his drink again. “He’s still headed this way.”

Clark groaned. “Why me?”

Jim chuckled. “So, you really going to put him through a wall? I’d have a hard time seeing you do that.”

Clark looked at Bruce and quirked an eyebrow. The millionaire shook his head slightly before finishing his drink.

Roy staggered up and slung an arm around Bruce’s neck. “Hey, you seen Robbie? This is supposed to be his party, y’know.”

Bruce glared at the drunken archer. “No, Roy. I have not seen Dick. Could you please remove your arm?”

“What’s the matter, Brucie? You don’t know how to have any fun. Work work work; that’s all you do. Now, how about I get Amber over there to give you a private dance, huh?” He winked at Bruce.

Bruce growled. Roy hastily removed his arm while Clark snickered. The man known as Arsenal looked woefully at the reporter. “You know, it’s too bad I can’t get you drunk. That would be a fond memory to share with your wife. Especially if it was on videotape.” Roy sighed regretfully.

“Arsenal, you’re drunk. Go away.”

Roy waved. “Sure thing, Supes.” He then walked away, still calling out for the guest of honor.

Dick peeked out from under the table. “Is he gone?”

“It’s safe to come out now.” Jim helped him up from the floor before looking at Clark. “So, you’re Superman?” he asked innocently.

Clark choked on his drink. “I’m going to kill Roy,” he muttered.

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Dinah was standing on a chair, yelling at the stripper. “Shake that ass!” she called out.

Barbara looked at her friend in amusement before looking for a camera. She spotted a disposable one on the table and grabbed it. Winking at Amy, she snapped a picture of her rowdy friend. “This ought to be wonderful blackmail material later on.”

Amy grinned back. The dancer finished his act, collected his scattered clothing, and exited the stage. A voice came over the speakers. “These next few are with compliments from a Mr. Roy Harper.”

Dinah looked at Barbara. “What has Roy done now?”

Barbara’s face was a mixture of horror and amusement. She pointed towards the stage. Dinah turned around to see…Batman.

Murmurs rose from the crowd of women. Most of them were “in the know” and were like Barbara: not sure whether to laugh or stare in shock. As the music began and the “Batman” started dancing, gyrating to the beat, they watched in horrid fascination.

Dinah looked at her friend. “Does Roy have a death wish or something? When the real Batman finds out about this...”

Barbara only started laughing helplessly as “Batman” ripped off his cape. She then picked up the camera again, aiming it towards the stage. She could imagine Bruce’s face now...

Across the room, Donna Troy turned to Diana Prince. “I sure hope Roy’s will is in order,” she commented. Her eyes turned speculative. “Hmm…wonder if there will be a Superman later?”

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Roy had finally passed out drunk on the floor. Wally West stared down at him. “So, what should we do to him?” he asked the room at large.

Dick looked at the unconscious form of his friend and grinned wickedly. “Oh, I can think of a few things…Can’t you, Clark?”

Clark chuckled. “I don’t usually condone vengeance, but in this case, I think I may have to make an exception.”

Bruce and Jim wandered over. Bruce looked at the police commissioner. “You know, it might just be better if someone drops him off with the ladies. I’m sure Donna and Dinah would love to see him.”

Clark and Dick winced. “You are a cruel man, Bruce Wayne,” the reporter commented.

Bruce took a sip of his drink and recalled the lap dance Amber had tried to give him earlier at Roy’s prompting. His lips curled up slightly. “I know.”

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The women had for the most part loosened up and had begun to cheer on “Batman”. Barbara looked over at Dinah and grinned. “Not getting into the spirit of things?” she asked.

Dinah looked up from her drink and shuddered. “That,” she said, jerking a thumb at the stage, “is just wrong, and on so many different levels.”

“Really? I would have thought you would be enjoying it.”

The Black Canary slung back the rest of her drink. “Here’s what I enjoy: Taking down corrupt governments, teasing you about Nightwing, kicking some ass, and baiting Batman. I do not enjoy watching some Batman-wannabe perform a strip tease.” She looked towards the stage and shuddered again. “Oh God, that’s going to give me nightmares.”

Just then, Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne entered the club, an unconscious Roy Harper slung between them. When they caught sight of the stage, they froze. “Dinah…” the Bat growled under his breath.

Lois Lane caught sight of the two of them and winced. She walked over and steered the two men (still carrying Roy) into a corner. “This isn’t what you think. Apparently, Roy Harper planned a little surprise for the party.” She paused, remembering the initial announcement over the speakers. “A series of surprises”

Clark set Roy down and lowered his glasses to peer backstage. What he saw there made him mutter under his breath. “Well, Roy apparently also lined up a Superman, a Flash, a Green Lantern, and a Nightwing.”

Lois looked at the two men and then down at Roy. “You know,” she said conversationally. “I wonder what would happen if the real superheroes showed up and crashed the party. And what if Roy happened to wake up while they’re here.”

Bruce looked at his friend. “And you say I’m evil.” He waved to Barbara and Dinah who headed over to them.

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A phone call to the club where the bachelor party was being held, a quick change into costumes, Roy propped up in a chair, and everything was set. Dinah waved some smelling salts under Roy’s nose. He moaned and clutched his head before opening his eyes and quickly closing them again. “Someone turn off that music,” he muttered under his breath.

“Rise and shine, Roy,” Dinah sang out as she patted him on the head.

His eyes flew open. “Dinah!”

“Just wanted to say how much we appreciated your little surprise.” Dinah grinned wickedly. “There are some people who want to thank you in person.”

Roy looked at her warily. “Dinah…What’s going on?”

She chuckled and shook her finger at him. “That would be telling.”

On the stage, “Superman” took the place of “Batman”.

“Hello, Arsenal.”

Roy flinched in his seat and looked around wildly. “B-b-batman?” A hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped out of the chair, spun around, and confronted a smiling masked figure in black and blue.

“So, Roy. I heard you had a few surprises for my girlfriend’s party. Care to share?”

Roy backed away. “Hey, Robbie. Um…it was just a joke. Heh heh. You gotta believe me.”

“Sure. I believe you, pal. But it’s not me you have to convince.”

Roy then bumped into something hard and he whirled around to see Superman.

“You have to convince them.” Nightwing smirked and leaned against a table to watch.

“Supes! Um…all in good fun, right? I mean, why would you want to hurt li’l old me?” Arsenal chuckled nervously.

Superman reached out and turned Roy’s head towards the stage where the Superman stripper had just ripped off his shirt. “Could that possibly be why, Harper?”

“Oh, that! Heh. Well, um, see…”

“Save it, Roy. Just be glad the Flash hasn’t performed yet.” Wally, in costume, poked Roy in the chest. “Or you’ll really be in trouble, with both Linda and me.”

Behind him, the Green Lantern smirked.

Roy was about to say something when he heard The Voice again. “Harper.” He turned around to see the Batman almost on top of him. He could not help it. Batman scared him; really scared him. Roy screamed, partly in surprise, partly in fear. He stumbled over his own feet trying to back up and fell on the ground. “Don’t hurt me!”

The entire room turned to see what was going on. The stripper on stage turned white when he was the real thing in front of him. Amy Rorhback called out, “What the hell is going on?” She pushed her way through the crowd and froze when she saw the costumed heroes.

Roy was scrambling across the floor as Batman advanced. “Look, I’m really really sorry. It won’t happen again. I promise.” He lunged at Nightwing. “Robbie, help me out here, man!”

Nightwing only patted his friend on the shoulder. “Roy, it’s been nice knowing you.”

“Robbie!” Roy pleaded as a hand fell on his shoulder.

“So, Batman, what do you think we should do to him?” Superman grinned down at Roy.

Roy almost screamed again when he saw Batman smile. “Well, they do say turn about is fair play.”

Flash looked at Lantern and grinned. “Oh, this is going to be good.”

Superman picked up Roy and deposited him on the stage. Dinah smiled widely at the archer and waved. She then hit the play button on the CD player.

Donna catcalled. “Work it, Roy!”

Nightwing sidled up to Barbara. “I hope you have your camera,” he murmured.

Barbara laughed and held it up. “Always, Twenty-something Wonder.”

On stage, Roy had begun dancing, throwing nervous glances every so often at Batman. The women started laughing and cheering him on.

“Oh, he is never going to live this down,” the Flash commented to Superman. “Do you think I could get a copy of the video?”

-------------------------------------------------

Amy felt decidedly out of the loop. She was positive a good portion of the women in the room were superheroes, or had been in the past. How her rookie knew so many was still debatable, but she had a glimmer of a suspicion. She watched as the vigilante known as Nightwing talked to Barbara Gordon. Roy Harper had called him “Robbie”. She remembered the Titan calling her rookie that as well, on the day she had first met him.

Just then, Nightwing looked her way and noticed her staring at him. He looked ... apprehensive? Guilty? Even nervous? She watched as he said something to Barbara, making her look over as well. He then gave her a wave and rejoined the other costumed heroes.

Barbara wheeled over towards Amy. “So, how are you enjoying the party?” she asked brightly. “I hope that last part didn’t unnerve you too much.” She laughed. “After awhile, you get used to Roy’s pranks, and the others’ retaliations. Though I think this is the first time Batman and Superman participated.”

Amy forced a smile to her face. “Does this sort of thing happen often?”

Barbara grinned. “More often than you think. Dick and Roy have been friends since they were thirteen.”

“So you’ve known Dick for a while then?” Amy was curious. Her partner did not talk much about his personal life.

Barbara’s grin turned mischievous. “I was his babysitter.”

Amy laughed. “You’re kidding me! His babysitter? Oh, that’s priceless!”

A little away from them, Nightwing looked at the Flash woefully. “They’re talking about me, Wally. My reputation will never be the same.”

The fastest man alive laughed and clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Hey, buck up. Just think, tomorrow, you’ll be married to that gorgeous redhead over there.”

Dick smiled. “Hey, that’s right!”

Wally nodded. “Yup. In eleven hours, the two of you will be standing in front of the judge saying ‘I do’.” He looked at his friend. “Hey, are you all right? You look kinda pale under that mask of yours.”

“Eleven hours,” Dick squeaked.

Wally grinned. “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now. You’ve faced down Joker, Riddler, Two-face, aliens, and even Batman. You aren’t going to be scared off by a little thing like marriage, are you?”

Dick smiled sheepishly.

“What do you say we head back to your party and let Roy up there finish his act. Your future father-in-law is probably wondering what happened to all of us.”

Dick slapped Wally on the back. “It’s a deal, buddy.”

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Dinah walked up to the two women. “So, trading stories of your boytoy, Babs?”

Barbara looked up and sighed. “He’s not my boytoy, Dinah.”

“He’s not? Well, can he be mine then?” Dinah grinned. “Have you seen that boy’s ass?” she asked Amy.

The police officer giggled at Barbara’s resigned expression. She gathered that Dinah did this sort of thing to her friend often. “And how!” she agreed.

From the stage, Roy called out, “Can I get down now? I’m really sorry!”

Dinah, as well as several other women, called out, “No!”

Donna added, “Take it off!” Roy glared at her.

Amy snickered before turning to Barbara. “So, for curiosities sake, just how many of these women are card-carrying members of the Superhero League?”

Dinah gave her a pained looked. “There’s no such thing.”

“You know what I mean.”

Barbara winked. “Now, that would be telling.”

Something squawked and Barbara pulled out a cell-phone. “Yes?” She gave Dinah a significant look.

The Canary led Amy over to a table. “Let’s give her some privacy. Meanwhile, have you met Lois Lane and Diana Prince?”

Barbara heard Robin’s voice coming over her phone. “Oracle? There’s a major gang war going down by the docks. Can you send backup?”

“What about Young Justice?”

“They’re busy elsewhere. Just send someone. Anyone!” There were gunshots in the background. “I got to go.” And the line clicked closed.

Barbara sighed and looked around. She spotted Superman and Batman still standing near the door and wheeled her way over. “Trouble,” she told them. “By the docks. Robin needs help.”

“I’m on it.” Batman looked over at Superman. “Well, Clark? Feel like a bit of fun before returning to the party?”

“You have a strange idea of fun.”

The two men left and Barbara heaved a sigh of relief.

--------------------------------------------

Dick, Kyle, and Wally were sitting together at a table, trading stories when the Joker walked in. “He has got to be even more insane than I thought,” Dick observed. “At least a quarter of the guests are known superheroes.”

The Joker surveyed the room and laughed. Everyone stood still and turned to stare at the green-haired man with the bleached white skin. “You’re all having a party without me! I’m hurt. Well, I’m sure my invitation got lost in the mail, right Harley?”

The woman in the jester’s outfit nodded. “Sure thing, Mistah J.”

That was the last thing that happened before the two of them got bowled over by the Flash and Garth smashed a chair over the Joker’s head while Dick kicked Harley in the side, sending her into a wall.

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Bruce and Clark returned to the club to see flashing police lights. Running the last few yards, Bruce grabbed Jim’s arm. “What happened?”

“Joker decided to crash the party. But then the party crashed him.” Jim started to chuckle. “You should have seen it, Bruce. It was wonderful.”

In the background, Bullock was putting Joker and Harley into the back of a police wagon. “You know, clown, it probably wasn’t the brightest thing to try and hold up a party when the party boy’s a friend of the Titans,” the overweight detective observed.

Joker growled. “Shuddup. Just shuddup.”

Bruce’s mouth twitched and Clark snickered. “Come on, Bruce,” Clark told his friend. “Let’s rejoin the party.”

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The next day...

Dick stared at himself in the mirror and sighed. “You can do this,” he told his reflection. “You love Barbara. You’ve faced the worst of both Gotham and Bludhaven. What’s a simple ‘I do’, huh?”

There was a knock on the door. “Come in,” he called out.

“Hey, rookie. Not getting cold feet are you?” Amy poked her head in and grinned.

Dick smiled. “Hey, Sarge. Survived Dinah’s party, I see.”

Amy smirked. “I gotta tell you, Grayson. Those are some wild friends you have.” She closed the door and leaned it. “So, nervous?”

“You wouldn’t believe how nervous I am.”

“You can handle rooftop hopping in a formfitting black and blue costume, but you can’t handle matrimony? Men,” Amy laughed.

Dick froze. “What did you say?”

Amy smiled. “You heard me. Word to the wise, Robbie. Tell your friend Arsenal to watch his mouth around you when you’re out of costume.”

Dick sighed and gave a sheepish grin. “I’ll be sure to do that. So…what are you going to do with the information?”

“What do you mean? I’m your partner, and if you can’t trust your partner to keep your secrets…”

“Who else can you trust?” Dick finished. “Right. Thanks, Amy.”

“No problem, kid. Good luck out there today. Barbara’s a real lucky gal.” Amy waved and opened the door, bumping into Bruce Wayne, Jim Gordon, and Tim Drake. “Excuse me,” she murmured, squeezing past.

Bruce walked into the room, grinning. “So, are you ready?”

Dick checked his reflection one more time and let out a big breath. “As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

“Don’t do anything to mess this up,” Tim recommended. “Or Alfred will kill you.”

Dick chuckled. “I’m not planning to. But if I do, it’s been nice knowing you.” He turned towards Jim. “How’s Barbara?”

Jim grinned. “Nervous. Dinah and Cassandra are trying to keep her calm. She’s worried that her wheelchair will get stuck when she’s going down the aisle or that a bird will crap on the cake or something.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Bruce assured his son.

“I hope so. It can’t be worse than my last wedding,” Dick joked, but he knew that the moment he said it that it would fall flat. Both Bruce and Tim winced and looked at Jim.

Jim looked at his future son-in-law for a long moment before reaching out and clasping his hand. “You take good care of her, you understand? Because if you don’t, I’ll come hunt you down.”

Dick answered solemnly, “I will.”

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Barbara fussed with her veil. “It’s crooked,” she insisted to her maid of honor.

Dinah sighed and pulled her friend’s hands from the veil. “It’s fine, Babs. You look beautiful. You’re going to blow Dick away, girlfriend.”

Barbara into the mirror at her friend. “You mean it?”

“I mean it.” Dinah patted Barbara’s shoulder. “The two of you were meant for each other. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Promise?”

“Listen, with the entire Justice League, the Titans, Young Justice, and Alfred out there, who would have the guts to try something?”

Barbara laughed. “Certainly not me! I keep on Alfred’s good side, thank you. He keeps me in cookies.”

Dinah grinned. There was a knock on the door and Tim stuck his head in. “Hey, Alfred said to tell you five minutes, Babs.”

The two women looked at each other. “Well,” Barbara breathed. “Here we go.”

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Dick’s breath caught in his throat as Barbara rolled down the grassy aisle with her father. It was an outdoor wedding on the grounds of Wayne Manor. The bright blue of the sky was dotted with white clouds seemed to accent Barbara’s beauty. Wally nudged him in the side and advised him to breathe.

Dick barely heard him.

The ceremony went off without a hitch and soon, Barbara and Dick were kissing and Judge Vargas was announcing them husband and wife.

Bruce was uncharacteristically beaming and Alfred had to wipe tears from his eyes. Tim cheered and Bart hugged Kon who started telling the young speedster to let go. Jim felt a tear trickle down his cheek but he made no move to wipe it away. Clark gently squeezed his wife’s hand and Lois smiled tenderly at him.

And through it all, Dick and Barbara were oblivious to the commotion around them as they stared at each other in amazement.

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Dick felt small arms encircle his leg and he smiled down at Lian. “Unca Nightwing!” she cried out happily. He reached down to pick her up. “Hey, squirt. You having fun?”

She smiled at him and nodded. “Do you like me new dress? Daddy bought it for me for your special day.”

Dick smiled back. “It’s beautiful, Lian. Want to say hi to your new Aunt Barbara?” he asked her.

Lian squirmed out his grasp and landed on the grass. “Come on!” she cried, tugging him towards where Barbara was talking to Bruce and her father. She looked up and smiled at the sight of her new husband being dragged by a child a third his size.

“Barbara Gordon Grayson, may I introduce to you Lian Harper.” Dick grinned as Lian curtsied.

“Unca Dick says you’re my new Aunt Barbara.”

Barbara laughed quietly at Lian’s earnestness. “Well, I guess I am. Lian, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Lian grinned. “Who are you?” she asked the two older men.

Bruce squatted down so that he was level with the girl. “I’m Dick’s father, Bruce. And he’s Barbara’s father, Jim Gordon.”

Lian scrunched up her face in thought. “If you’re Unca Dick’s daddy, then you’re Batman!” she said triumphantly.

Jim chuckled. “Looks like we have a little detective in our midst,” he commented. “Maybe you should recruit her when she’s older, Bruce.”

“I think her father might have something to say about that,” Bruce said.

Dick looked around. “Where is your daddy, anyway, Lian?”

“He’s hiding from all the ladies,” she said. “I think he’s in the maze.”

Dick grinned at Bruce. “Oh, is he?”

Jim reached down for Lian. “Why don’t you and I go look for some food?”

Lian grabbed his hand trustingly and the two went off towards the buffet table.

Barbara snickered after they were out of earshot. “Roy is never going to hear the end of last night, is he?”

“Not if I can help it.” Dick grinned at her. The musicians in the corner of the patio struck up a waltz. “Mrs. Grayson, would you like to have this dance?”

Barbara looked at him in confusion. “How, Dick?” She then gasped when he reached down and picked her up out of the chair and held her tightly around the waist. She laughed and kissed him. “Why yes, Mr. Grayson. I would. I would like that very much.”

------------------------------

Epilogue - A Momento

Amy Rohrback opened the front door and saw a deliveryman standing in front of her.

“Sign here, please.” He held out a pen and a clipboard to her. She sighed and scrawled her name on the line and accepted the box.

“G’day,” he said as he walked away.

She bade in farewell absentmindedly as she studied the box in front of her. Who would be sending her a package? There was a symbol of a green face in upper left hand corner where a return label would normally be. She finally shrugged and reached for a sharp pen to cut trough the packaging tape.

Inside the box, she saw a photo album. She took it out, brushing off the styrofoam peanuts, and opened the cover. She smiled when the beaming faces of her rookie and his new bride looked up at her. Inscribed below the picture were the words, “For those who were there, for fond memories and laughter, a memento.”

When she turned the page and saw the next picture, she burst out laughing.

*          *          *

Lois Lane called out to her husband as he shut the door. “Who was it?”

Clark Kent looked down at the familiar green mask. “A package from Oracle.” Funny, why would she be sending him something?

Lois came into the room. “Well, aren’t you going to open it?”

Clark tore open the box and extracted a plain brown photo album. “I wonder what this is,” he murmured to himself as he flipped open to a random page. His eyes widened.

“Oh…”

*          *          *

“…my word!” Alfred Pennyworth breathed. He gazed in shock horror at a photograph of a reluctant Bruce Wayne receiving a lap dance from a scantily clad brunette. From the look on his face, the billionaire was not enjoying the experience.

The butler chuckled quietly to himself as he turned the page.

*          *          *

Dinah spewed coffee across her kitchen table and started coughing. Her coughs gradually turned into laughs as she reached for a napkin to wipe up the mess. “Oh, Barbara, this is a keeper,” she said as she looked back at the picture of Roy clutching Nightwing’s legs in desperation. The look on the archer’s face was priceless.

She briefly wondered who else had received a copy of the photo album.

*          *          *

Wally West, known as the Flash, and his wife Linda were doubled up with laughter on the couch. “Oh, god,” he wheezed as he tried to catch his breath. “Dick is never going to live this down.”

He tapped the picture of Dick trapped by a trio of exotic dancers and mimed out the expression on his best friend’s face, causing Linda to dissolve into giggles again.

*          *          *

Jim Gordon sat down at the table and opened the book that had been delivered to him earlier that day. This was the first chance he had to look at it. He chuckled briefly to himself as he turned the pages. When he reached the one of a disgruntled Joker snarling at the camera as the door to the police wagon was about to be slammed shut, he wondered if he could get it blown up and delivered to Arkham Asylum where the clown was currently residing.

Ah, hell. He’d get it blown up and hung on the wall of police headquarters. Along with the one of Tempest braining the Joker with a chair.

*          *          *

Lois glared at her husband. “And just what is this?” she demanded as she pointed to the picture of Clark with a voluptuous redhead on his lap.

Clark Kent, the strongest man alive, stammered something and blushed as he tried to wrest the book back from his spouse. He briefly thanked whatever higher power was listening that Oracle had not thought to do something like this for his bachelor party.

*          *          *

Batman looked up from the Batcomputer. “What is it, Alfred?”

The stoic butler handed him a box. “A package came for you sir, from Miss Barbara." 

“Thank you.” Bruce accepted the package and opened it. When he had opened the photo album, Alfred had already entered the elevator. The Englishman hid a grin when he heard his master’s muffled curses. He did smile, however, when he decided not to tell Bruce that Barbara had also sent him a copy of the album as well.

*          *          *

Diana Prince stared in horror at the picture in front of her. “I couldn’t have been that drunk, could I?” she wondered to herself. She had not even known she could get drunk!

She shuddered a bit before turning the page, avoiding looking at the picture of her stuffing a bill into the Batman stripper’s leggings.

*          *          *

“What are you doing in that picture?”

Roy looked over his shoulder at his daughter Lian. “Nothing!” He quickly slammed the book shut and grabbed her hand. “How about I make you a bowl of ice cream?” he asked her, hoping that she would forget about the humiliating picture of him up on stage.

*          *          *

Donna Troy snickered as she walked out of the film developing place, carrying a poster size print of the same picture that Lian Harper had been so curious of. She already knew the perfect place to hang it.

*          *          *

Tim Drake hit the speed dial on his phone. The line picked up. “Oracle here,” a mechanical voice answered.

“Aw, Babs,” the third Robin whined. “Why didn’t I get a copy of the bachelor party photos like everyone else?”

“Tim, how old are you again?” Barbara’s voice asked him.

“Uh…”

“Exactly. Maybe in a few more years, squirt.” She hung up on him.

Tim stared at the phone in his hand in dismay. “Aw, crap.” He hung the receiver back on the base. Maybe Roy will let him borrow his copy…

*          *          *

Alfred cleared his throat. “Master Bruce? Was the package from Miss Barbara of some import, sir?”

Bruce cleared his throat. “Um…it was nothing too vital, Alfred.”

“Of course, sir.” Alfred turned to leave the room. “Oh, one more thing…”

“Yes?” Bruce looked up at his oldest friend.

“I believe that…Amber was her name, was it not? I believe that she may have taken a fancy to you. Perhaps you should give her a ring.” He exited the room and the door swung shut behind him.

Bruce stared after him for a long moment.

*          *          *

Dick Grayson looked at Barbara a bit apprehensively. “Honey, just how many copies did you have printed up?”

She looked up from her computer and gave him a smile. “Why, not that many.”

He sighed with relief and began to sag against the doorframe.

Her smile turned wicked as she turned back to the terminal. “Just one for everyone who was at the parties.”

--fin--

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